Freak-Dom!!!

And there he was. Right behind my gasping self. I could sense that warm moist exhale on my neck, almost feel his clutches on my back. My last escape-route had been cut off, I was doomed. He sprung on me.....

Born into a mechanized world who ranted and raved at the hoopla of independence, I was and I still am one of them; the everyday beings. More so, in the seeming perfect world, I was termed an 'imperfection'. It was the same everyday that some lived to see another day while others conked out. They call it the vicious cycle of life, a free life has repercussions. That is, unless restricted, freedoms converge destructively. But then, restrictions lie contradictory to freedom. A restriction for one turned out to be a freedom for another. Being quotidian by our very nature, we accepted it. Plenary freedom is chaos. It is in the cosmos that acceptance without comprehension is nothing but compromise. And thus, gradually we became the slaves to our own world.

Everything in my life was just the way it should have been, that is until the day he arrived, unannounced. An abandoned entity, I was adopted by my uncle where I was taught small chores in his wielding shop. It was the way of the cane, either one learns quickly or gets out handicapped. I was in the dark, blinded and abused within the four walls of the oil-soiled room in the backyard where my uncle used to visit in the night with the Aluminum cane. Every night, it was a beating after which I would succumb to his fancies. It was my world and I accepted it as my fate.

It was one of those days, after uncle had left that I heard his voice; a calm yet resolute voice, deep and intense. He asked me about my interests and hobbies. We used to sing together, although I never heard him singing. Every night, we talked to each other. I never asked his name or address and he never asked mine. We presumed that in friendship material particulars hold the least value. One night when my uncle had beaten me with the aluminum wire, that he asked me to kill my uncle and run away with all the money. My uncle was the only one left in the family and I would never want to kill him. I refused, but his voice never stopped. Everyday and night it kept on ordering me to commit the deed. Until one day, I could take it no more. I poisoned the food and my uncle never entered my room that night. My instincts were to run away from the house.

I never saw my uncle again. However, an outcast that I had become forced me to beg on the streets, rummage for leftovers within garbage and find shelters in the make shift tents that workers had abandoned. One day, the voice again came back, asking me to steal and kill in order to survive. This time i refused and it began to shriek at me all the while. I could take it no more. And one day I ran. He was right behind me, the fiery voice never losing me with gasps of hot air that emanated from him. I ran until I could run no more, but then there was no escape from him. Blackness weighed down on me as he sprang on me and I fell down.

It was pitch dark and pin-drop silence but I could hear a loud voice say "freak", just like my uncle used to.

Beyond Enigma...

There are some days when you get irritated for nothing. You feel as if, your existence has no reason. A monotonous life, long office hours and bored of the mundane work. A desperate attempt to seek motivation, some meaning to the life led. It was one of those days in office when I felt that urge to take a break and do something different. And over those short but incessant black coffee breaks, one of my friends came up with the idea of Melghat. A week of adventure, trek and a place where no modern communication technology can reach, I was really intrigued. Contemplations and assumptions became ideas, and soon ideas turned into plans. By the end of February this year, we were all set to hit this place famous for tigers. The trip was a part of the tiger census 2008, a survey called Line Transect Survey conducted by Wildlife Research and Conservation Society (WRCS) in collaboration with the Maharashtra Govt. Initially nothing about this survey made any sense to us. After all we are all software engineers, how do we know about wildlife surveys? But then the whole idea was so exciting that three of us decided on the trip. The next week was dedicated to preparations on the trek, back packed with clothes, torches, batteries, mosquito repellants and general medicines to say the least. We had decided on a train route to Amravati via Chennai which would take us a span of 36 hours. From Amravati it was a bus route of around 6 hours to Melghat. The survey was supposed to start from March 3rd and we reached by the 2nd afternoon.

Melghat is a tribal belt at the border of Maharashtra and MP, a dense forested area of around 300 villages with breath taking natural beauty. It has a core tiger reserve and abounds in the rarest species of both flora and fauna. There is no electricity despite electric poles in each village, no properly maintained roads and no means of common transport just a ST bus started once a day to Amravati. The rickety old bus is so rusty that it might just break down during monsoons. The other means is the trusty old time tested bullock cart!!! On arrival, we were given a very warm welcome by the coordinator of WRCS, Mrs. Prachi Mehta and accommodated in the forest rest house along with the other volunteers. Among the others there were forest guards and guard internees. There was another software engineer from Bangalore, bird scientists and students from veterinary sciences and wildlife sciences Dept. It was a mixture of people from different backgrounds and academia and gelling in this group was fun. In the early evening we were given a knowledge session on the topographical features of Melghat and an insight into the objectives of each team. Also we were taught on the proper usage of the compass and range finder instruments. The objective was to trek through a route of 4kms. During the trek, we needed to make observations of some herbivorous animals the compass and the range finder and note the same observations on the data sheet. We were given sessions on animal identification. This survey was prone to a lot of mistakes en route because there would instances of animal spotting missed and duplicate spotting. Even the animals tend to be very shy, so extra caution and alertness was necessitated time and again during the trek. Each route would be covered by two persons taking observations on all the sides. There would be two batches of teams in the morning and in the evening and each trek was expected to be completed in at most 4hours. After this we had an informal session and introduced ourselves to the batch. It was really nice to know about the experiences of forest guards in their broken Marathi, Hindi and Korku mix about their life in the forest, the animals, the village people, the beliefs. The morning batch started at 0430 hours in the morning at the starting points of the respective routes and the routes were marked with red arrows at the barks of trees at every hundred meters. Furthermore the route travelers would be supplied with maps about the route. The evening batch started at 1545 hours. I was put in the evening batch for the first day. The eventful day was finally put to end after a sumptuous dinner.

“Amu jumu chi”. I heard a deep husky voice and opened my eyes to look drowsily at one of the forest guards trying to wake me up in the morning. It was 0330 hours in the morning. He had obviously mistaken me for the morning batch. I woke up and saw the morning batch people getting ready for their transects. Being put in the evening batch I was almost getting desperate for my first trek inside the unexplored Melghat. Finally the morning batch people arrived tired and exhausted with a few squeals of excitement among volunteers for their animal spottings.

“you are in for Route 13. that’s the route where maximum leopards have been spotted”- Prachi mam told me before I left for my first route. I was excited and desperately wanted to start it as soon as possible, more so with the hope of a leopard sighting in its habitat. The sumo picked us up and soon we reached the route starting point. This route was topographically special because at 4 different intervals of the route we needed to cross a river, a place where it s almost possible that a tiger or a leopard might be resting in the shade. We started our journey at 1545 hours and soon we were inside the core area of the jungle, left alone in the warmth the jungle had to offer us. Melghat is typically a very difficult terrain to cross because it is continuously interspersed by cliffs and valleys. My shoes were not made for this kind of terrain, so throughout the journey, I was continuously falling down and bruised my hands and legs in the process. But I was in no mood to give up, so we proceeded on our journey. The whole journey was eventful in the sense that I had a few spottings of chital, bisons and nilgai s. I even had spotted a barn owl in the wild. The completion of the route was marked by pure triumph, another milestone conquered, vanquishing all mental and physical constraints. I was exhausted and fell asleep as soon as I reached the forest rest house.

The next three days were different routes for me. I was put in the morning batch and I had lots of sightings on chitals and stags. I also had bisons and nilgai s added to my data sheet. I just had one wish, a tiger or a leopard sighting. The following day, a new route had been added, the highest point in Melghat-- at Vairat (1178 m. above msl.), which forms the southwestern boundary of the Reserve. It is a prime habitat of the tiger. This was a challenge for me, to travel the roads less travelled, carve my own way and leave my footprints in the sands of time. Soon trekking my way through tall bamboo shoots and tropical deciduous forests, I was at the peak of Vairat. That route was the most perilous of all because there were rugged climbs through loose rocks, through rock precipices. It was indeed a pleasure when I finished that route, though I believe I had missed a lot of animal sightings due to the difficult route. Time passed by very quickly and very soon it was the sixth day. My last route was another newly opened route. I desperately wanted a leopard sighting or a tiger sighting. With me, I had a forest guard who was doing his phd in wildlife sciences. He had to do his duty as a forest guard as he had to support his family from the salary. We found fresh pug marks and he told me that a tiger had killed a bison calf last night, advised me to be fully alert. I had a feeling that today was my lucky day. A few minutes after we had found the pug marks, there was a thunderous roar. There is a jungle saying that the full roar of a tiger can break a cold sweat down the spine of the bravest of men. It took me several moments to regain my composure and restart my journey.

The survey ended with felicitations by Mrs Prachi to each of the volunteers. And we were on our way back. It was then, that I thought about the tigers which end up dying in the hands of a poacher, or injured in the saws of the traps set. . The status of the tiger in India is in great peril, no one has to be enlightened on this fact. The declining numbers speak of human apathy and callousness towards the most magnificent creature in the subcontinent

On the way back to Bangalore, I was dreaming of tigers, elephants, chitals and bisons. The thrill and the excitement of the transects will remain with me for all ages.

The tiger is an epitome of supple grace, exquisite beauty and mystical charm.
It is an epitome of electric sharp agility, over powering strength and hunting prowess.
Tiger captivates.
If we lose the tiger what else is there to lose.
Tiger is life itself.

Please find the rest of the pics here

A page from the Phantom's Diary...

"..The day you will realise, is the day when you will know that it is already too late... "

Its a hot sultry day and the rickety old bus slackens to a halt, metres ahead of the solitary post which used to be a part of the bus stop. A dusty hot wind blows into my face as I get down. Its a gravel road and one has to be careful while gettin down. The bus had already showered a dust cloud over my head and has now reduced to a moving object constantly pursued by dust cloud. I begin to walk my way home crossing the guitarist by the music shop.

These words ring in my ear as I look at him strumming the guitar. He is not really good, but he tries,conscientiously.
At the threshold of completing a quarter-life, I wonder if I could play it. I have always been an escapist, jumping roads without really walking and crossing the milestones on those roads. The reason being, I do want to get associated but I fail to focus myself, to dedicate myself to a particular goal. Sports, Music, Painting, I have had it all but I don't really have anything. All I had was that neat bunch of yellow certificates which are still lying in the corner of the room waiting for some moth to start eating it. This is what I am now, a jack of many trades. A perfect novice.

My father had told this to me on of our rare one-to-one conversations. I believe, I was on another whim, another desire, another dream. Surprisingly, he had all attention on the regular blabber. A chaotic exchange of ideas and advices. A tumultuous memory ride on my track records; of how I had engaged on one activity and abandoned it in between. Now, I break into a cold sweat as it seems that it was only yesterday. The sheer truthfullness of it, my realisation and my submission to those very words make me feel tired. I walk the last few metres with sagging shoulders.

I open the door and see that the dishes have been cleaned and set on the table. The food is ready and all I have to do is change my dirt ridden clothes and settle for the drier ones in my cupboard. They say that a volcano erupts in every man's life and then things change. I am still waiting for mine. But somehow being myself, I seem to have accepted my fate; submitted to what life has to offer me. A total escapist.

I guess, this is where it started and this is where it will end. A meticulous cobweb of here and there and this and that. Here I am and this is me.